Chapter 1: Boss, We’ll Be Taking All the Chicken

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On December 26, 2012, Posted by , In Chen Yue Zhi Yao, By ,, , With 10 Comments

“This is like using a chainsaw just to kill chickens…” -Fan Tong
“Ah, that’s not true. I’m using a fruit knife.” -Yin Shi

 

 

Resource Area 1, where the usual orderly atmosphere had turned into a chaotic ruckus about some matter concerning chickens, returned to its ambiance again the moment Yin Shi appeared at its source.

Well, actually, chaos had yet to ensue, but Yin Shi’s appearance had acted as a warning that told everyone this fight could not happen. That is, unless there really were people that dense.

The first time Fan Tong saw Yin Shi was outside the city gates. Technically, that didn’t count since he died before really seeing the guy. The second time was during Chen Yue Jie. He only thought he looked really handsome and a bit strange then. This was the third time now. Seeing him from this distance, he could only describe his feelings as… plaintive.

Yin Shi was so handsome that other men wouldn’t think twice before murdering him, simply so he wouldn’t steal the attention of every woman under the sun. As long as this man existed, Fan Tong didn’t know what to do with his life. Even if he did try attacking, it’s pretty obvious who’d be the one killed… Ability aside, fate had always been on the side of handsome men. You’d figure out how biased it was purely by looking at the other person’s face.

Comparing looks alone, Yue Tui’s points were up there as well, but he’s just not the type. Plus he hadn’t finished growing, so he’s not exactly in Fan Tong’s range of enemies. Not to mention, men aren’t supposed to crowd out their friends. Fan Tong tended to respect his father’s teachings.

“Yin Shi, I missed you so much…”

By the time Bi Rou raised her head from Yin Shi’s embrace, her eyes were shot red at a very good degree. It was at a level not too horrible to make her face look appalling, but it didn’t look artificial either, as though done to attract attention. Her expression, now filled with apparent grievance from unjust treatment, looked so natural there was no way to tell it was only an act she forged the past few seconds.

This woman is not simple. Never get on her bad side. Fan Tong marked Bi Rou as dangerous in his heart.

“Ah! Why are you crying? Who bullied you?”

Very naturally Yin Shi soothed the hair on Bi Rou’s head, feeling a bit frantic seeing her pink-tinted eyes.

“People keep stealing our chicken and wouldn’t let us collect feathers and skins to level up…”

Bi Rou leaned onto Yin Shi as she said it, as though she needed his comforting. From what Fan Tong could see, though, she seemed to be feeling him up quite blissfully.

“How long have they known each other?”

Zhu Sha calmly turned towards Cute Girl A to ask.

“Hm? They probably met on Chen Yue Jie, I’m assuming. So… for two days?”

Cute Girls A and B stared drunkenly at Yin Shi’s beautiful face with pink cheeks, continuously exchanging chatter along the lines of “He’s so handsome!” and “I’m so jealous” with each other. They replied half-heartedly to Zhu Sha’s question.

Two… days… Huh?…

The one who asked the question made no comment, but Fan Tong felt somewhat perplexed.

They were so attached to each other after only two days? Can two days make people this close?

Where was justice!

Fan Tong dropped tears for his own life, which had remained single until the day he died.

Is it right to shine so brightly in front of a bunch of bachelors? Is it right? Is this legal…?

“Fan Tong…”

Probably because his shocked expression was too blatantly obvious, Yue Tui looked at him with worry.

“Yue Tui, have you ever had a boyfriend…”

“Eh?”

Yue Tui’s expression dimmed. No man would look better from hearing that.

I meant girlfriend. Sorry.

“I… Why, why would I have a boyfriend? Fan Tong, just what’re you pointing at?”

Someone explain for me! Or lend me some paper and pencils! After learning for so long, Yue Tui should understand the word girlfriend by now, right! No, this word should be in the list of crucial-to-learn vocabulary!

Fortunately Zhu Sha didn’t notice their conversation, and Cute Girls A and B were still drunk in their happy pool of eye-alcohol, so he managed not to destroy his image that badly.

As for the couple on the other side, they had probably been in their own world from the beginning and couldn’t see anyone else. Ah, maybe there still were chickens, but chickens weren’t humans anyways.

“Ah, what chicken? How about I catch them for you?”

“There’s no need to catch them. Just kill and we’ll skin and pluck them afterwards…”

“But I’m scared I can’t defeat them.”

“You can kill them with just one finger…”

“Ah, if you’re watching, I’ll be able to do anything.”

“Mhm mhm, Yin Shi, I will cheer you on!”

……

Stop flirting. It’s destroying my health…

“So, where are the chickens? Take me to them.”

Yin Shi completely neglected the New Residents who’d frozen since seeing him and now looked ready to start killing chickens.

“They’re here. One’s right in front there, see.”

Locking their target, they looked ready to begin the chicken-murdering mission. Cute Girls A and B were still in a daze from seeing Yin Shi’s face, and Yue Tui was still troubled by the boyfriend question earlier. Fan Tong’s mood had fallen to the pits. Only Zhu Sha was in condition, looking like he was ready to kill the chickens as well.

“Alright, let’s kill it.”

Though that chicken was some distance from them, no one rushed up to take it from them this time.

Are you kidding, the prey Shufa Xuan’s rector had laid his eyes on, who’d dare to take it?

“Lord Yin Shi!”

Around this time, some girl from the surrounding crowd finally couldn’t contain herself and screamed.

“As rector of Shufa Xuan, to personally meddle with student affairs and help a student level up, this is a violation of the rules, isn’t it!”

Just say it if you’re jealous, geez. Such an ugly face… Fan Tong muttered inside. Albeit he also felt uncomfortable seeing other people so touchy-feely with each other, he still hoped to kill his chickens and level up successfully.

“You guys want to level up?”

Yin Shi only heard this now and looked at them, a bit surprised.

No, you’re not going to not help us now, are you?

“Yeah, we’re all here to collect feathers and skin to level up.”

“And I thought you had a grudge… Then we can just go back and rip some pillows?”

You’re smart. You still didn’t fully answer that girl’s question, though. And who’d hold a grudge against chickens for no reason?

“I want to kill them!”

It seemed Bi Rou had her chickens taken from her too many times and developed a form of resentment against chickens, so she disapproved of the pillow idea.

“Okay, we’ll go kill chickens then. Let’s go.”

This gentleman here, you’re too much of a pushover! Be firmer in your beliefs! Did you know it’s a thousand two hundred chickens that you’d have to kill? You didn’t even count, did you! Or are you just planning on finishing your Rou’s portion and that’s it!

“Lord Yin Shi…”

That female student refused to give up. Yin Shi casually gave her an impassive response just to get it over with.

“Was it a rule that the rector of Shufa Xuan can’t help students level up? Then we’ll change it from today on my orders.”

“How can this be…”

“Ah, so annoying. Am I the rector or are you?”

Yin Shi grumbled, then took off the stone accessory hanging on him. He didn’t do anything fancy and just threw the thing into the air. It floated to mid-air and an illusory sigil formed, displaying clearly in the sky.

“Charm of Yin Shi, Restriction Order. From now on, only I can touch the chicken. Everyone else who touches one will have points taken off. This restriction will automatically lift after I leave. Alright, fellow students, there’s no luck with the chickens for you today. Hurry and go away to do something else, okay.”

…Ah? What’s this?

Fan Tong couldn’t really understand what this means or what it was that Yin Shi did. Not many with them understood, but those bothersome students looked outraged. Yet, they decided not to come up with arguments and left.

“Yin Shi, Yin Shi. What was that?”

The best person to ask was undoubtedly Bi Rou. Everyone was curious, and Bi Rou was no exception. Especially for things they’d never seen before, they would want to learn more about.

“This? A toy the five Attendants all have.”

Looked like there was little hope of receiving a proper explanation from Yin Shi.

“Eh? Can you lend it to me to play with?”

Miss Bi Rou, your curiosity is at a dangerous level. Please don’t do things that’d trouble others. I feel frightened from imagining what’d happen with that thing in your hands.

“Ah, I want to too, but Ying would get mad.”

Lord Yin Shi, to mention another woman’s name while rejecting your woman’s request, that’s a major failure no matter how you look at it.

“Hmph…”

As expected, Bi Rou made a disgruntled expression right away, but she didn’t argue unreasonably.

“I’ve finished setting up the place. Let’s get moving then, shall we, Xiao Rou?”

Whatever you say… I still kind of hope everyone can just go back and buy some pillows… is this idea really off the list now?

***

So, the first to be entered into their battle record was the chicken standing up there with a blank look on its face.

The slow reaction times of these chickens made Fan Tong question how they survived and hadn’t become extinct. Maybe they breed too quickly? But for a chicken to grow this big, how many days does it take?

As Yin Shi elegantly moved towards the chicken, everyone anticipated quite excitedly what kind of move he’d use.

Would it be a flamboyant outragous Shufa attack, or a swift kill? As an expert with a pure-black tassel, he must have mind-boggling skills, right?

Of course all these–whether expectations or beliefs–were opinions. When Yin Shi nimbly whipped out a fruit knife and smoothly charged to battle the chicken, almost everyone realized how reality often differs from imagination and learned the feeling of having their dreams shattered.

“Hiyah!”

He gripped the fruit knife and did a good deal of poking. Yin Shi actually looked serious–he even had the correct atmosphere and everything–, so Fan Tong didn’t know if he could call it a proper job or not. The only thing is that, despite striking effectively, none of his attacks hit the chicken’s vital points. He dodged every attack the chicken shot at him, too. It was difficult to discern whether Yin Shi was strong or weak.

By the time he finished off one chicken, ten minutes had passed. Fan Tong truly felt that Yin Shi wasn’t here to kill chickens at all, but to play with them.

“A fruit knife…?”

Zhu Sha said, unable to withhold his words. Finally a normal person spoke.

“Ah, I wanted to try out different types of weapons. I found a wood axe inconvenient to carry around last time, so I’m trying out a fruit knife now.”

No one wants you to explain this. What we want you to explain isn’t this at all, aghhhh!

As one of the Five Attendants, as rector of Shufa Xuan, don’t you have a better weapon?! Take it out here and show us! Where’s the talking weapon? That’s a combo bound to be found with legendary fighters, isn’t it?!

“Ah—Your blade handling is wonderful, Yin Shi—!”

And here stood a woman who shrieked out praises no matter the nonsense. Hello, a successful man always has a wise woman behind him. Miss Bi Rou, how can he become successful with you spoiling him like this?

“Ten minutes a chicken. 12,000 minutes for 1,200 chickens. We’ll need to kill for two hundred hours.”

Zhu Sha cooly added, which made Fan Tong suddenly realize that someone other than himself had been calculating the efficiency of this. Here he was thinking everyone was too dumb to realize such an obvious fact. Who knew Zhu Sha was really paying attention?

But he did come to help out, so you should speak a bit more amicably, Zhu Sha.

“Yin Shi, we won’t make it for dinner at this rate. Could you be a bit faster?”

Bi Rou used her killer move again: begging with soft words. Regarding her mention of dinner, though, Fan Tong had something to say.

Supposing dinner was at six, they were left with only three hours.

Killing 1,200 chickens in three hours meant 400 an hour. Four hundred an hour meant 6.6 or 6.7 chickens per minute, which also meant a bit more than one chicken per second.

Is this possible? Is this possible? This excludes the time needed to find chickens too. Is this really possible? Or could it be that pure black tassels can make water into wine and the impossible possible?

If Yin Shi managed to do it, Fan Tong sincerely believed he’d become a legend. Granted, the title “Quickest Chicken Killer” might not be entirely appealing, and it wouldn’t fare well for him if it spreads, either…

Besides, we’re just going back to eat those government provisions. What’s the rush to a dinner like that?

“This student, I’ve felt your gaze for a while now…”

Yin Shi turned to look at Fan Tong all of a sudden, looking a tad suspicious.

“I feel discontent in your gaze. Do we know each other?”

Everyone’s eyes focused on Fan Tong.

Bi Rou’s look was simple enough to figure out. It basically said, “What are you unhappy about with such a good man? Are you blind?” The others’ were comparably purer. They just made faces.

“When I first got here, Lord Yin Shi, you trampled over me with that beast you were riding.”

Since he’d already asked, Fan Tong might as well admit the truth. He didn’t look like someone who’d get mad easily, so there’s nothing wrong in saying it.

What’s important is the compensation! Do I have any hope of receiving any?

“Ah, did you die?”

Yin Shi was slightly surprised. Yet, he didn’t ask for the time or location and habitually asked this question.

Mind if I ask, do you run around riding dangerous monsters all the time? So this kind of thing has happened many times before already?

Fan Tong nodded. Whenever possible, as long as he didn’t forget, he would answer with nods and head shakes.

“I’m so sorry. I can’t let you vent it out by killing me back, but how about I compensate you for the fees required for regeneration? Are three thousand strings enough?”

While Yin Shi spoke, he took out a ticket and scribbled the amount. It was similar to a check, but it would only be used for exchanges of large amounts of money.

Hearing the amount, Fan Tong was utterly stupefied.

Three thousand strings!

Three thousand strings—!

I didn’t hear wrong, did I? Is it really three thousand? Did he account for the psychological damage too? Lord Yin Shi, you are my god! From now on I am your follower!

Fan Tong delightedly opened his palms to receive the ticket, but Bi Rou stepped before him to stop the arrangement.

“Yin Shi! Each regeneration only costs one hundred strings! Don’t waste so much money. It’s not that expensive!”

……

That’s his money, not yours, why do you care so much? Who’d want to marry you if you act like this even before the wedding? Blocking someone else’s path to prosperity is immoral, you know!

“Not to mention, the first three revivals are free! Fan Tong just arrived so that must’ve been within the first three?”

Ahhhhh! You are now my sworn enemy for life! Yes, that death didn’t cost anything, but how could you, how could you say it out loud?!

“Eh? Is that how it is?”

As expected, Yin Shi didn’t understand the situation. Having lived in the Eastern City for so long, he still didn’t know something as important as the price for revivals. This could only be explained by how Natural Residents didn’t understand the pains of society. New Residents were truly living in deep waters and scorching fires.

“Then… Here, Xiao Rou, this is for you. I forgot to give you some money last time. Is three thousand enough? Should I write another one?”

“Mm mm, more than enough. You’re so nice to me, Yin Shi.”

Ahhhh! You she-devil—! May you rot in hell for taking another man’s money—!

After seeing three thousand strings of money that could’ve belonged to him enter someone else’s pockets instead, Fan Tong filled his heart with tears of blood. Those feelings were not something that could not be described.

So pretty girls don’t have to do anything to get three thousand strings, but he can’t even receive compensation for being murdered. No matter how you look at it, it’s tragic.

“It’d be nice if you could at least give me a hundred strings…”

Probably the curse felt the thirst of his soul, so it allowed him to say something normal. Sadly, it was in vain.

“The first three deaths are warnings for you to be careful, so I won’t be taking this into account.”

Yin Shi had no ill intentions and simply stated the truth. It seemed receiving recompense was hopeless now.

I know I was being careless and didn’t dodge, but don’t you feel responsible for leaving someone dead out in the streets at all—?!

“It’s ugly to keep asking for money.”

Zhu Sha stabbed him with this sentence, quickly and cruelly.

“Fan Tong, how about I work with you to repay your debt? I don’t really need money right now anyways.”

Yue Tui patted his shoulders as comfort, his words gentle as usual.

Wahhh, Yue Tui, you’re really the best. I knew you’re my only friend…

Using friends to make money isn’t something a real man would do, but my father had once said, “When you truly need something, don’t reject it for pride.” That’s why, I’m going to accept your offer whole-heartedly…

“Your relationship is wonderful. Good luck with work.” Bi Rou smiled at them, her smile still sweet.

I don’t need the encouragement of some filthy rich woman who’s just stolen three thousand strings from me! Cheering us on? Stop acting!

***

The money was optional, but the chickens they must kill. It was the opposite for Fan Tong though. He didn’t have to kill the chickens, but he needed the money. He was going to remember those three thousand strings for a very long time. A debtor tended to be more sensitive about money.

Pale greens received a monthly salary of two strings, and grass greens received three. If he finished collecting feathers and skins today and leveled up to grass green, he’d still have to wait one thousand months before he reached three thousand strings. Although he just needed 195 strings, those three thousand had been within his grasp! That changed everything! What he could have done with three thousand strings! What kind of luxurious life he would have been able to lead!

Hate floated around Fan Tong but, possibly because his spiritual abilities weren’t strong enough, his mood failed to affect the entire group.

Because everyone else messed around with no regards to time, Fan Tong started paying attention to the carcass of that chicken over there.

With a “safe in my purse” mentality, Fan Tong decided to skin and pluck the chickens for himself. He had known that he would be killing chickens today, so he had brought some plain tools with him. They were even borrowed from other people since his financial situation honestly gave him no luck with anything that required money.

Yet when he touched a chicken and got ready to slice it, the sky buzzed, then thundered. From Fan Tong’s viewpoint, he only saw this blanket of extremely bright light before his entire body felt numbing pain. He wasn’t sure at all what had happened.

Whatever happened here was quite close to the others, so naturally they saw everything. The first to speak was Zhu Sha.

“What horrible deed have you done to be struck by lightning?”

So he was struck by lightning. How come he didn’t die? Well, not dying is better, but… that’s not how it goes, right?

He had just wanted to make sure he had enough skins and possibly pocket some for himself while no one was watching. Was this so horrible that the heavens even struck him down with light? There were no storm clouds in the sky though, so this wasn’t just some coincidence but rather a punishment from the heavens?

“Fan Tong, should we send you back to heal…”

Yue Tui panicked upon seeing his sorry state. The two cute girls also felt he didn’t look very well and nodded. Zhu Sha though, added a few more words.

“I heard the Eastern City’s health resources are reserved for Natural Residents alone. All New Residents are killed off. It’s faster to just regenerate.”

“Ah.”

Yin Shi suddenly screamed, seeming to have recalled something.

“I said no one’s allowed to touch the chickens aside from me…”

……

So he had been struck by Yin Shi’s spell. This is what one calls dying by the hands of one’s own people. Alright, he wasn’t dead, but his current situation wasn’t much better.

Lord Yin Shi, couldn’t you have been more earnest when casting the spell? Did you plan on collecting the feathers and skins all by yourself?

“Yin Shi, are you going to help us pluck and skin too? That’s a lot of work! Why don’t you change it? Just leave that stuff to us.”

Bi Rou looked all hurt and didn’t want to tire him out. On that note, he had only killed one chicken so far.

“That sounds good too. Then I’ll change it a bit… Ah! Wait, someone’s calling me.”

When he was about to take out the accessory and rewrite the restriction, his communication charm lit up. He picked it up.

“I’m outside. Ah, what? I forgot. I… Okay, I got it. I’ll be back in a bit.”

Sounded like something urgent. He said he’s going back already, so it looked like the chickens wouldn’t be killed today.

If that’s the case, can we just go back and buy some pillows?

“Yin Shi, you’re leaving?”

Bi Rou looked very disappointed.

“Xiao Rou, I’m sorry. I promised that I’d go welcome the New Residents at the Chen Yue pathway today.”

So you’re going there to capture more people? This does sound like something important.

“Yeah…”

Bi Rou puckered her lips, her gaze leaking feelings of dismay. Normally, a man would have wavered around now, and the chance he’d drop the other business was very high.

“I want to be with you too, but if I go back on my promise, Ying will get mad at me.”

That is, if he didn’t have a scary woman behind him.

What complicated relationship is this? What polygonal shape does it take? Or is this a wife versus affair situation?

“Then go. We’ll work hard.”

Bi Rou’s eyes flickered with an unnoticeable flash of jealousy when Yin Shi mentioned the Queen. She replied like that out of spite.

“Ah, but I’ll worry. Let me get someone to help you guys out, okay? Wait a bit for me.”

Saying this, Yin Shi used his communication charm and contacted someone.

A substitute? Is the pillow dream shattered?

“It’s me. You’ve got nothing to do, right? Come and help out my Xiao Rou. I have to return and prepare to go to the Chen Yue pathway. Hurry here. Oh, bring communication charms with you too.”

Who knows who he was talking to. The conversation ended quickly, and now it was time to wait for the other person to arrive. Fan Tong wondered how long it’d take.

“Lord Yin Shi, do you happen to know any healing spells?”

Yue Tui spoke to Yin Shi and looked at Fan Tong. Really, after being struck by lightning, it’s quite hard waiting for one’s wounds to heal without any bandaging or help.

Fortunately it wasn’t real lightning and thunder, or his clothes would have been burnt to ashes as well. Fan Tong’s clothes had only gotten some new holes in them. He looked at his skin, and some places were sort of black. If he deduced the situation using his name, he’d be what you call a rice crust. What an uncomfortable feeling.

“No, I can’t learn them. Ah, I should start bringing medicine with me from now on? What if my Xiao Rou got hurt?”

Yin Shi started worrying about something that hadn’t happened as he replied. Fan Tong truly felt the worthlessness of his own life.

But, can’t learn…? This really perked one’s curiosity, but Fan Tong was someone that had been deemed a person with zero talent in Shufa, so he probably wouldn’t understand even if he tried to figure it out, right?

“Why can’t you learn?”

Zhu Sha was undoubtedly being his studious self and asked straightaway. Perhaps he wanted to understand more about the topic, just in case he couldn’t learn it later on either.

“It would be unfair if I could learn it, now wouldn’t it? Ah, it’s a personal problem anyways. Only I’m like this. No matter what I do, I can’t learn it. I feel very regretful about it too; it would be quite interesting if I could use healing Shufa. That way, we’d just need one chicken. I can just keep regenerating its cells so that the feathers and skin grow, and then everyone would have enough.”

Lord Yin Shi, are you sure healing Shufa has those capabilities? May I ask how long it takes for them to grow? Is it your fetish to be as inefficient as possible? Also, the poor chicken!

***

After ending the topic regarding healing Shufa, the person that Yin Shi called over had arrived, quite quickly if one might say.

However, when that person mysteriously entered from a Fuzhou, everyone saw his perfect countenance, and most of them felt like they were leaving the commoner’s dimension.

“I was napping. You better have something important to say, or I’ll leave your dead body to rot.”

The long-haired beauty spoke venomously and with an angry expression. Everyone recognized the face. The charcoal colored tassel and blue-black jade accessory also confirmed his identity.

One of The Eastern City’s Five Attendants, rector of Fuzhou Xuan – Ling Shi.

We’re just here to kill chickens! Just to kill chickens! Must we make such a huge commotion? Is this how you waste your valuable human resources? The tassels on your bodies are crying!

Is this what you call nepotism! Even though Lord Yin Shi wasn’t discriminating anyone, but it certainly feels that way! Are we going to meet the Queen next?

“Ling Shi, I’m going back now. You go and help the others kill the chickens.”

You’re doomed Lord Yin Shi, you won’t have a burial for your funeral.

“You really aren’t scared of me killing you and hanging your decapitated head on the city gates to show everyone?”

Ling Shi’s beautiful face turned sour for a moment. Fan Tong didn’t know if he should anticipate or fear the clash. It must be exciting to watch two professions fight, but if commoners like them got involved, the consequences were unimaginable.

“No, you won’t do that. I know you’ve got a soft heart on the inside, hahahahah.”

“……”

Ling Shi felt helpless towards Yin Shi’s fearless face. To deal with someone so shameless, Ling Shi couldn’t think of what to do.

“Ah, right, Ling Shi. I got a new waist-pad, look.”

Yin Shi declared as he showed off the wood-colored* accessory as if it was his precious treasure.

“This isn’t called a waist-pad. It’s a jade plate.”

“I kept losing mine, so I got them to make it from plain rock this time. It looks pretty good, right? It won’t be as wasteful this way too.”

“Even if it’s made from rock, it’s still called a stone plate, not a waist-pad…”

“I wonder how long the waist-pad would last this time? I hope I won’t lose it anymore. I should make the tassel into a bracelet later too, so I won’t lose it so easily. What do you think?”

“……”

They couldn’t communicate.

Fan Tong felt Ling Shi was about to scream “Who cares about your waist-pad!” or something similar, but Yin Shi switched topics incredibly quickly and started talking about something else.

“Ling Shi, this is my Xiao Rou. She’s beautiful, isn’t she?”

I feel like this introduction sounds like the one you used for your waist-pad.

“Lord Ling Shi looks better than I do.”

Bi Rou seemed a bit uneasy. That’s true, when you’re in front of such a beauty, it’s not unnatural to feel a little suffocated.

“Really? But I think you’re more beautiful. Ever since I saw you I thought Ling Shi looked really ugly. Plus I’m quite tired of seeing that face.”

Yin Shi spoke but suddenly he felt his throat ache from speaking too much perhaps. He rubbed his neck.

“Take it.”

Ling Shi casually threw a cup of water over. Who knew where it came from.

At this time, Bi Rou gave her roommate a look. Cute Girl B spoke.

“Lord Yin Shi, are you and Lord Ling Shi a couple?”

“…Wha! Cough cough cough! Cough cough!”

Yin Shi choked horribly from the water and Ling Shi instantly put on a frightening expression. The only thing they both shared was the look of disgust in their eyes.

“Who would… Cough! Who’d want to with this old geezer! Ah, that’s disgusting!”

Huh?

Everyone staggered.

“Isn’t Lord Ling female… I just thought her voice was slightly deep…”

“I’m a man.”

Whoa! Mi Zhong you pervert! You knew he was male since the beginning, didn’t you! No wonder you were so troubled about your sexual orientation!

“S-sorry. It’s just that you two always went everywhere together and seemed to be on really good terms with each other that everyone thought…”

What do you mean, everyone? Don’t pull me down with you.

“Even if Yin Shi was female, I wouldn’t want to be with him.”

Ling Shi icily asserted, his mood perfectly destroyed.

This sort of misunderstanding happened quite often actually. Things like “Lord Yin Shi is so handsome,” “Then what do you think of Lord Ling Shi?”, and “Ah? Isn’t Lord Ling Shi female?”, he’s heard them so much that he got used to it. But it didn’t mean that he wouldn’t be unhappy though.

“Ah, how mean.”

Lord Yin Shi, what are you dissatisfied with? If your appearance didn’t change and you just changed into a girl, that’d be quite scary. I mean, at least Ling Shi has a ton of male admirers despite being a guy. He has the right to be conceited, you know.”

After finding out Ling Shi’s gender and clarifying the relationship he and Yin Shi had together, Bi Rou’s expression brightened up, as though she had just got rid of a giant boulder.

Since the conversation have strayed to this topic, Fan Tong had the urge to ask something. It was a bit rude, but he still wanted to know.

“Uhm, excuse me, your responsibilities with the Queen, do they include sleeping with her?”

Horray! I’m so lucky the Queen didn’t change into the Emperor or something! One’s luck really does change after being bad for so long!

The reason Fan Tong asked was because he seriously suspected this. From the looks of it now, the Five Attendants were all good-looking young men. It’s been rumored that the missing Hui Shi is very handsome, and Wei Shi couldn’t fare any worse. It’s as if it’s the Queen’s imperial harem. Furthermore, they lived inside the palace.

Okay, let’s exclude Luo Shi. He’s the Queen’s son, so that’s improbable.

When Fan Tong asked, the two looked shocked, even fearful.

“We don’t have such functions… No! I mean, there’s no such thing!”

Lord Ling Shi, your first sentence sounded very peculiar.

“Ying wouldn’t ask for something so outrageous. We’ve watched her grow up.”

Lord Ling Shi, you seem to want to remain composed, but the discord inside your heart is flowing out from your eyes.

Huh? Wait.

Watched her grow up…?

“How old are you two?”

Zhu Sha asked even before Fan Tong got to it. True, this question deserves some deep thinking. It made people curious.

“Ah, I don’t know. I never counted.”

Yin Shi genuinely replied. To be honest, that answer was quite horrifying.

“There’s no need to pry further into such matters.”

Ling Shi didn’t look like he wanted to answer. Then again, Lord Ling Shi, even your companion’s calling you an old geezer, so your age can’t be any younger…

If they really had lived for such a long time, how’d they keep their youth? So to say, what’s the lifespan of the Natural Residents here? What does the old form look like?

“Ah!”

Yin Shi suddenly screamed. Ling Shi glanced towards him, speaking expressionlessly.

“Have you remembered the time?”

“Ahhhhhh—”

Yin Shi looked at the angle of the sun and made some frantic noises. He turned to Bi Rou.

“Xiao Rou, I’m sorry. I won’t make it in time if I don’t go back now. I’m leaving.”

“You already can’t make it.”

Ling Shi spoke without a care on the side. He didn’t bother to remind Yin Shi of the time earlier. He’s a bit evil.

Because he was in a hurry, Yin Shi didn’t have the heart to react to Ling Shi’s words and simply cast a spell using Shufa. He was shrouded by light and disappeared. How fast. Only his arrival and departure made people think he was of master-level.

***

They were now left with Ling Shi, who was unacquainted with anyone and seemed to have a sterner personality. The place immediately quieted down, but Ling Shi proceeded to take out the communication charms Yin Shi told him to bring. It appeared he was about to pass them out.

“I’ll set them up for you. Names?”

He began with Cute Girl A, who was standing closest to him, configuring charms for each person. The ones he brought were the same as the one Bi Rou was using earlier. They were shaped like badges. It seemed entering the names registers ownership with the device. Maybe their names would show up when they contact one another in the future?

But… to have Fuzhou Xuan’s rector personally give them communication charms, what generosity was this? It’s highly likely he made them himself too, huh? God…

A Fuzhoucommunication device hand-crafted by Lord Ling Shi himself, how much would it sell for? Mi Zhong would buy it from him even if he would go bankrupt from it, wouldn’t he?

“Name?”

Very quickly, it was Fan Tong’s turn. Ling Shi calmly stared at him and frowned. He didn’t wait for an answer before speaking again.

“I still remember. Fan Tong, wasn’t it?”

“No.”

Ah! Lord Ling Shi remembering my name actually shocked me so much that I forgot to nod! This is not good!

“No? Did I get your surname wrong? Is it instead?”

Ling Shi arched his brow and spoke blandly.

Lord Ling Shi, you are hilarious. No matter what happened, I wouldn’t change my surname to something that’d dig my grave for me. However you look at it, being a rice bucket is better than being a toilet. Although you graciously explained that you might’ve forgotten, your tone of voice oozed with the confidence that your memory wasn’t wrong at all.

“Fan Tong, can’t you just be more honest?”

Zhu Sha was annoyed at how Fan Tong always acted this way.

Hahh, what would you know. You wouldn’t understand this Youth Depression I now suffer from due to having a mouth like this. Don’t ask me what that is. I don’t really know either.

“Are you too nervous in front of Lord Ling Shi?”

Even now Yue Tui put the blame of his spoken mishaps onto his nervousness.

Who’s nervous! I’m not Mi Zhong! No matter how good-looking, there’s no value to it if he’s a guy!

“Take this, Fan Tong.”

Ling Shi didn’t say much. He entered Fan Tong’s name and handed the charm to him. Fan Tong was quite happy having received a communication charm for free, especially since it’s more than likely priceless.

“…Huh?”

When Ling Shi took out a communication charm again, he furrowed his brows.

“Yin Shi, that guy told me to bring seven…”

Those who were quick to react noticed the problem. Those who had slower reaction speed began to realize something strange a few seconds later.

Not counting Ling Shi, there were only six people here. Even if they replaced Bi Rou’s charm with a new one, they’d still only need six.

“Had he seen a ghost?”

To have counted such a small number wrong, Yin Shi’s truly a marvel.

However, Lord Ling Shi, what you’re saying is a bit impolite. To be precise, everyone here is a ghost. It’s just that we’ve been granted bodies by Chen Yue’s power…

“Press the button on the left side to enter the of whoever you want to contact. Your fuwen is carved to the backside of the charm. If someone asks for it, just tell them that. After entering the fuwen, press again to confirm the call. Wait for the other party to pick up. When you receive a call, this here will light up. Press the button on the left to receive. Hold it for five seconds to reject. When the light shows, place your hand on the charm and you’ll be able to see the caller information. If you haven’t learned how to use yet, just press the button and you’ll be able to pick up the call normally.”

From Ling Shi’s instructions, the charm didn’t sound difficult to use. There shouldn’t be any problems.

Looks like every universe needed something as convenient as cellphones, Fan Tong thought.

“Do we need to pay to use this?”

Zhu Sha got straight to the main point. Ling Shi shook his head.

“This is an equipment to make communication convenient among citizens, so there’s no fee to using it. Anyone with a blue tassel or higher receives one, unless you go buy one yourself which is okay too.”

Oh ho, a societal convenience measure hm… They say it as though The Eastern City really cares for its people. Why not change the salvage boats by the Pool into steam ships instead? I think that’s more practical.

“The button on the right is for when more than one person is using the charm. Pressing it once initiates the program and holding it for five seconds shuts it. When you start it, it automatically enters the first network connection point. If you set more than one networks, each press brings you to the next one. After entering the network, just keep the charm on you and you’ll be able to hear anyone using the same connection. Likewise, the people on the other end will hear anything you say.”

So there’s a chat room function too? How high-tech. There are so many functions on such a small thing. Fuzhouis truly a miraculous subject.

“Configuring the settings require more advanced knowledge. I won’t be teaching you this. I’ve already set a connection network inside and you’re all in it. Try and activate it.”

Since Ling Shi had told them, everybody opened up their group chat function. Considering that there was only one group right now, they all entered the same one. They activated the feature, but it’s weird to talk when everyone’s standing right next to each other. This suddenly created an awkward situation.

“I’ve finished passing out the charms. There are only six people, what’s the seventh for?”

It turned out to be Ling Shi who started talking. They didn’t think he would put himself in the network as well. The sounds overlapped as Ling Shi spoke next to them, but the one coming from the communication charm can only be heard inside their heads.

Judging from what he was saying, it seemed the one he was talking to was…

“Ah! Ling Shi! I transported myself to the wrong place earlier. I finally got back, but they already told Ying I didn’t go. How unlucky.”

…The voice of Yin Shi who had left a little earlier rang into their heads.

◎ Fan Tong’s Afterword

Why do I feel so tired after killing just one chicken? I wasn’t even the one who killed it.

The only thing worth celebrating is attaining the communication charm. According to my expert vision, I dare say this is high quality goods. I think I’ll evaluate the price at the store next time. Maybe it’ll make me so happy that I can’t eat for three days.
Although it is admittedly very normal to be unable to eat for three days considering how horrible the rations taste and all, this is only a figure of speech.

I think that under the combined force of Lord Yin Shi and Bi Rou’s pink atmosphere, everyone else becomes dull and grayscale. That’s because they are really too thorny, too bright, and too conspicuous, rendering us unable to look at them. It really feels painful.

Yue Tui, we have to quickly distance ourselves from them. I feel that staying near them is very unhealthy. Oh, of course that’d come after killing the chickens and taking the skin and feathers.

Okay, Alright, Zhu Sha can come with us. Since we are all roommates, we should stay united and either fight or retreat as a whole. I’m a principled person.

And those two cute girls ….. will obviously fight or retreat with their roommates, considering that they are always happily looking at Mr. Handsome, isn’t that right?

About the part where I will sell out my dignity and pride for three thousand strings …. When did I say that? Have I said that? Is following Lord Yin Shi related to selling out my dignity? …Well, maybe it is a bit related… It is just that I think if my dignity and pride can be sold for three thousand strings, that’s already a very high price. If possible, I wouldn’t mind selling it at all. Unfortunately, the money never reached my hands, so clearly I don’t have to follow Lord Yin Shi, tsk tsk.

 

 


Next: Chapter 2: Flashing Lights are Prohibited
Previous: Fan Tong’s Foreword
Return: Main Page

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*The plate is apparently  made out of stone but wooden-colored. Yes, it’s a bit odd.
Translators: Namaejanai, Nuddle
Proofreaders: Charlotte, Kaitlin, namaejanai, pumpkin_so77, sae

means “little”. Equivalent of Japanese honorific –chan
馬桶 (ma tong) means toilet
符文 (Fu Wen) a writing of Fuzhou.Acts like a telephone number here.
符力 (fu li), the powers associated with charms (Fuzhou)

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10 Comments so far:

  1. -Viral- says:

    I actually admired Bi Rou a bit when she was busy flirting with Yin Shi, that’s just as much a curse as it is a blessing after all, but was it really necessary to stop him from getting any compensation? That kind of casual coldness is very unattractive, I’m disappointed.

  2. kensche says:

    Thank ya very much for the translation translator! Many thanks towards the Author!!

  3. Igatau says:

    “Four hundred an hour meant 66 or 67 per minute” –> Shouldn’t it be 6.6 or 6.7 per minute?

  4. says:

    “Ah, I want to too, but *Yin would get mad.”
    *Ying

    You’re doomed Lord Ling Shi, you won’t have a burial for your funeral.
    >>Shouldn’t it be Yin Shi?

    Yin Shi declared as he showed off the wooden accessory as if it was his precious treasure.
    >>Is it wooden or stone?

    I finally got back, but they already told *Yin I didn’t go.
    *Ying

    • a giraffe says:

      Thanks for catching our mistakes! You’ve commented on quite a bit of them. :) Hopefully, you’re enjoying our translations.

      I’ve fixed everything except for the wooden accessory. We’ll have to go check the raws again.

      -PiKairi

      • says:

        Yeah, no problem! I wasn’t sure if you guys would find all the little corrections annoying or not, but I thought I’d give it a shot. I’m definitely enjoying the translations. There seems to be a lot less Chinese light novels translated online as opposed to Japanese, so I’m really grateful! Makes me wish I could read Chinese too ^^. Keep up the great work!

      • says:

        The funny thing about the “waist pad” is that the picture of it on the cover of volume 2 looks wooden. But maybe Yin Shi will get a wooden one later after breaking the stone one. ^^;;

        • a giraffe says:

          Actually, it should look wooden. XD Apparently it’s a “wooden-colored” stone accessory. I have no clue why it’s like that. Maybe the author was trying to cover all the bases?

  5. jeanne95 says:

    OMG thank you for traslating :D

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